Furry Asphyxiation: a Memoir

Once upon a time, a fat cat named Simon joined the noble ranks of the eleventh mousing brigade. Fat though he was, his agility was second to none, being the best mouse hunter since the legendary Edwardo, second son of Kee.

He defended his nation against the rodent threat all the days of his life, finally being beaten after defending 2 kittens from an onslaught of 15,000 plague-infected rats. Torn and bleeding from his last and greatest deed, he collapsed upon the last surviving pest, suffocated it, and died. To this day, no rodent dares go near his final place of rest, for fear of furry death by painful asphyxiation.

To Simon!