To birthday, or not to birthday.

It is Sunday morning. I woke up today, and for some reason, it dawned on me that I am in a somewhat awkward situation. I think today is a friend of mine's birthday... but am only about 70% sure it is. I have NEVER been able to remember this person's birthday though; this person can attest to that. But now, I think I know why it is so flipping hard to remember EVERY SINGLE YEAR. I have a theory at least.

The theory is this: In the event that his birthday IS indeed today, that would make it exactly one week before MY birthday, and everyone knows, the week before and after your birthday is supposed to be a magical time, one where planets align for your benefit and random people off the streets are supposed to spontaneously hand you money because of the fantastic glow you are exewing from your core. But what happens when someone else encroaches on your alloted time in the stars?

Nothing. Literally. It becomes as if they simply do not exist. Because why should they, THEY are trying to steal the spotlight from the side effects of YOUR birthday. MY birthday. So I unconsciously shun them. This person, in particular. Or at least the fact that he has some right to my spotlight. It is MY glow, I am exewing it for MY benefit, not yours.

I'm just kidding. I'm not that selfish. But it might explain why I subconsciously forget his birthday every year. Sorry about that, friend!

(some time later)

Hmmm....... I just found out that his birthday is not today. It was a week ago. I am awesome.