What.

I wish I had something to offer people on my blog. If only I had some sort of AMAZING product to advertise, or some super cool talent that made everyone think I am a skilled master of everything. That would make life more interesting. More interesting than it is now. I feel like.... I don't know. Something that sounds amazing and maybe even has a really cool label, but as soon as you look inside, you're like, "hey I've been scammed!"

I don't want to scam you people. I want to have quality. Quality something. One time I bought a really expensive teeth whitening toothpaste just to annoy one of my companions on my mission, and told him the only reason I am buying it is because it has an exciting and shiny box. I could see my reflection in the box! But then within 3-5 days, I realized that I was actually cheated, because my teeth did not become noticeably whiter. IT WAS A SCAM that I payed too much money for.

Not that I am ever going to ask for money from you. That would be wrong. Maybe I've gone off on a completely irrelevant tangent about toothpaste. The point is, I don't want to be like that retardedly expensive toothpaste, and have you all tell your friends, "hey you should read this." and then NOT get white teeth afterwards. Does that make sense? It should. So I am now rededicating myself to finding a purpose for this blog. It will be intense, whatever it is. It may involve a mime. YOU could very well DIE in the process. But doesn't danger drive people forward? It will be worth it though. If you don't die, I promise you whiter teeth. I promise order, inexpensive mouthwash, and soft bristles! A world where dentists do not use the WRONG TOOL to try to get your braces off, and instead of criticizing the flaws of your dental hygiene and obvious infrequency in flossing, they will see your accomplishments and say, "MY, you have been using VERY effective teeth whitening toothpaste! I like your smile!"

This is my purpose.

...

I'm done.