A "Burning Bush" Moment

Today, at approximately 10:25 PM, I left my temporary abode (because where I sleep at the moment is NOT in any way my home... maybe I'll go into details later. Maybe not.) and walked through the dark to Target, my current place of work. For about an hour beforehand, I had been contemplating my life, and realized that my life, where it stands as of now, is really rather dull, and is lacking in any form of excitement outside of my imagination. I mean, I do make attempts at making my life at least a little bit less dull than it is... I go for walks, for example. I dress nicely, go to big scenic lakes and sit on the bench and read for a few hours. That does, admittedly, boost my sophistication rating quite a few points... but really... I am sitting on a bench, staring at what used to be a tree. How much more exciting is that than staring at a rock? Not only is my life boring, it is lacking a certain... flare. The shapow! factor, if you will. I thought of some possibilities.

A good friend of mine once brought the fact to my attention that the world of adventure is all but dead, in every place except for Africa. Africa! My mind raced around this idea for a few minutes. A land of lions! Where zebras run free through the markets, daring children to jump from rooftops onto their backs and ride out into the great unknown; a place of danger, where swords are ones greatest ally, and all others could very well be tomorrow's greatest enemies. Feel the electricity? It is there, and he made me realize it.

I had something of an epiphany today. Life is pulling me down a rut; granted, it is a successful rut, but a rut run by almost all in my droplet of life.

Isn't there more? I don't want this rut. I want to see Africa. And not just Africa. I want to see Israel. And Tanzania. Possibly the moon. And I want to do all of this while also completing school, so I can satisfy my need to feel like I am succeeding in the other "necessary" rut I need to be in.

Holy goodness, I am way off track. In any case, you now know what my state of mind was as I began the 5 minute walk to my work. I trudge along, and post this on my wall on facebook: "It is painful how unimportant my job is to the world." I work at freaking Target. Not only that, but I work a night shift, in the back, speaking to absolutely nobody (quite literally, as they all speak Spanish, and I do not). And what do I do for the world? I make sure the daytime Target workers have an easier time finding things the customers need. I am pretty sure the job was created for the sole purpose of giving people who only speak Spanish a place to start, so they can find their footing in this great American dream of ours. Good for them. But... why do I have this job? How is this helping me, or ANYONE else, anywhere? I felt quite depressed about this. By now I had reached the Target parking lot.

Suddenly, smoke. Rising from the bushes. THE PARKING LOT WAS CATCHING ON FIRE. What the CRAP?? I think to myself. FIRE!!! I SEE THE RED INSIDE THE BUSHES GETTING BIGGER! I ran to the scene, and realized I had a water bottle inside my backpack. "But its my water..." says a small voice in the back of my mind. But no. It was a sacrifice that I was willing to make. I mean, come on. The parking lot was on fire. I strategically pored out my water onto the flames, dousing them in the liquid goodness I was supposed to enjoy. The majority of the flames were out, when out of nowhere, my water bottle ran out of water. But you see.. the MAJORITY of the flames being out just doesn't quite cut it. (I am now late for work, by the way.) I ran to the entrance, and found a couple of people waiting outside for the door to be opened. In a state of slight panic (FLAMES!!!!) and mostly controlled urgency, I said to them "Do you have any water? THE BUSH IN THE PARKING LOT IS ON FIRE!!!"

Now, this is the part that I really do not understand. Has fire become less scary, or even less awesome in the last couple of years? After announcing this to the small group of bystanders, they all stare at me and are like, "oh.... where?" I point to where.. but then realize: I put out a lot of the fire. Therefore, there is almost no smoke anymore. So I am yelling about a fire that they cannot see. So I explain, "I put out MOST of it, but we need more water to put out the REST of it!"

Again, blank stares. I was quite frustrated. Then, luckily for the parking lot, the manager finally comes and opens the door. As calmly as I can (fighting against the adrenaline surging through my veins) I try to explain the situation. "FIRE IN PARKINGLOTBUSH! (deep breath.) I am going to go get water to try and try to put it out." Again, the believe-me-its-there-you-just-can't-see-it-yet routine. I go refill my water bottle, and go back outside. Finally, the fire summons enough heat to create visible smoke, and manager lady says, "ooooooooh I see it."

I ask once again... If the parking lot is on fire, do you say, "oooooh the parking lot is on fire..."? Maybe I am wrong here.. but I really am not feeling enough emotion there. She should have been like, "OMG THE PARKING LOT IS ON FIRE!" and called the fire department. Instead, after her, "oooooooh I see it" she says, "Go with this person and look at it."

Whatever. In any case, after I dumped two water bottles worth of water on the bush, the fire department was eventually called, and I received zero recognition for my heroic bravery in saving the bush and the world.

Now, to connect my two thoughts I have talked about today. I am not a crazy person who just randomly jumps from topic to topic at random whenever I so choose. (Actually I am. But not today.) Saving that bush and putting out that fire gave me more satisfaction in 10 minutes than I have ever gotten with... more than 80 hours of work at Target. And after thinking about all that I had today... I knew it was a sign from God. It was my burning bush. I need to do something amazing, and soon. And even if it wasn't a sign from God himself, maybe it is still a plain-old good idea.

I am going to do something amazing.